For what I believe is the first time, this year’s NJPW Anniversary Event is part of the New Japan Cup tour, and because it’s a special show, it has some special matches. Just look at how mean Master Wato looks as his fist clips through DOUKI’s shoulder in that image – that should tell you just how special this show is.

Satoshi Kojima, Aaron Wolf, Shota Umino, LEONA & Tatsumi Fujinami vs. Dick Togo, SHO, Yujiro Takahashi, Chase Owens & Ren Narita [House of Torture]

I skipped most of the preview tags, but I’ll cover this one because it involves Tatsumi Fujinami, a man who wrestled in the very first match on the very first NJPW show 54 years ago; it also involves LEONA, Fujinami’s son. All the faces entered to Fujinami’s theme, which was delightful. Charlton’s “Tatsumi Fujinami Show” bit worked really well. (Walker Stewart is still absent, by the way, and Charlton has mentioned that some of the shows outside Tokyo might be Japanese commentary-only until he arrives.) SHO cut his usual cheap-heat promo. The match started with Fujinami and Togo, but then Narita jumped Fujinami from behind; Fujinami got his revenge with dragon screw leg whips for everyone, and then he tagged out to Kojima and the match settled into the usual preview tag rhythm, with Kojima paired up with Narita and Umino paired up with Owens. The match ended with Takahashi pinning LEONA with pimp juice after a distraction.

New Japan Cup: Jake Lee [United Empire] vs. YOSHI-HASHI

God bless Jake Lee, he’s really trying to get this “acting like a total weirdo” thing over. It’s not really a heel gimmick, and it’s certainly not a main event gimmick, but by God, it’s a gimmick. Meanwhile, YOSHI-HASHI made Matsumoto carry his belt to ring for him, like a G. They spent a long time outside the ring to start, and YOSHI-HASHI largely took control after they got back in. He even broke out the Loose Explosion to try to finish Lee, but it didn’t quite get the job done. YOSHI-HASHI tried to land Karma several times, but Lee turned the tables with a head-and-arm choke, the giant-killer knee and then a front chancery for the win. This was good, but nothing you need to go out of your way to see. Lee’s next match is against Goto on March 13 in Osaka.

New Japan Cup: Callum Newman [United Empire] vs. OSKAR [Unbound Co.]

The English commentary track for this match must have been borked, because the NJPW World switched to Japanese commentary at this point. (ETA: After I finished watching this show, I noticed an alert on the NJPW World home page about them working on a problem with the English commentary, so hopefully that will be fixed by the time you watch this show, if that is a thing that you choose to do with your time.) This is only OSKAR’s second singles match since returning (he lost to Umino in October), but he took it to Newman early, tossing him into the chairs at ringside. It should be noted that there are no guardrails at ringside for this show, since the junior matches are main-eventing. Back in the ring, Newman dodged a kick in the corner and worked over the knee. OSKAR tried fighting back with power moves, and the combination of him being huge and Newman being an enthusiastic bumper really made OSKAR’s offense look good. OSKAR tried to put Newman away with his sleeper, but Newman simply yanked OSKAR’s bad knee out from under him and escaped. Late in the match, the ref got bumped and there were some more front-row shenanigans, after which OSKAR again applied the sleeper and Newman tapped, but since the ref was still down, it didn’t count. Zane Jay threw a chair in the ring (at this point, one of the Japanese announcers simply said, in the gravest possible tone, “Zane Jay,” and I was reminded why I should listen to the Japanese commentary more often), and Newman hit Excalibur first on the chair (which, to be fair, was just lying there), and then, after Jay tossed the ref back in, on the mat for the win. This was very good for the most part, and I feel like the light shenanigans at the end were there more to protect OSKAR than to indicate a House-like direction for United Empire. Afterward, Yuto ran in to stop Newman and Jay from doing any additional damage to OSKAR. These two are the best bros. Newman’s next match is against Hartley Jackson on March 13 in Osaka.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship: Ichiban Sweet Boys (Kosei Fujita & Robbie Eagles) (c) [TMDK] vs. Robbie X & Taiji Ishimori [Unbound Co.]

This got off to a crazy fast start, with both teams hitting some fun double-team and flying moves. As the match settled down a bit, the champs took over on Robbie X and spent some time working on him. Eventually, Ishimori got the hot tag and nearly got a submission from Eagles with the bone lock. Tags were made, and soon Fujita had Robbie X in his goofy submission, but Robbie X bit Fujita’s finger to get out of it. The match then devolved into craziness, including Robbie X doing a really cool backflip-into-a-German-suplex spot on Eagles. After both teams hit a lot of offense, Robbie X hit a lethal injection on Eagles, he and Ishimori hit a weird-looking magic killer on Fujita, and then he hit the X Express on Fujita for the win and the title. This entire match seemed to be designed to rehabilitate Robbie X in the fans’ eyes (the pre–match video package kind of gave away the game by illustrating just what a huge geek he’s been up until now, including showing the viral Ninja Mack spot from last year in its entirety), and by God, it worked, as the fans were chanting his name by the end. He still looks really unimpressive, with his skinny-fat physique and default create-a-player style, but he had the match of his life here, and good on him for it. I will say, though, that Ishimori continues to look just a tiny bit like he’s lost a step, which probably should be expected for a guy who is 43 and works his style. 

Afterward, Ishimori and Robbie X were jumped by Francesco Akira and Jakob Austin Young; Akira announced that he was going to do to Robbie X what he wanted to do to Hiromu Takahashi and then Pillman-ized Robbie X’s neck. Under conventional booking, this would perhaps suggest that Hiromu is coming back to help Ishimori get revenge, since you probably wouldn’t have Akira mention his name into a microphone otherwise, but I really don’t think Hiromu is going to just pop back up and go, “Sike, I’m back,” (although, now that I mention it, that would be a somewhat Hiromu thing to do). Plus, Hiromu and Ishimori already beat these guys at New Beginning.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: DOUKI (c) [House of Torture] vs. Master Wato

Like a fool, Wato comes out by himself, although DOUKI’s forever rival, El Desperado, is ringside doing commentary; however, Desperado doesn’t think much of Wato, either. Tanahashi once again introduces the title match and belt. I like it – it adds gravity to the match. Of course, the DOUKI standing in the ring with a hood over his face is not actually DOUKI – it’s SHO, and after the ceremony to start the match, DOUKI jumps Wato to grab the advantage. Wato is wearing some profoundly goofy-looking genie pants in this match. DOUKI held the advantage throughout most of the early-going, and most of Wato’s comeback attempts were thwarted by SHO shenanigans. Wato eventually overcomes this and hits a dive to the outside on both guys, and after a long, awkward offensive exchange, he got DOUKI in his wacky lucha submission. But, as literally everyone in the building except for Red Shoes expected, SHO pulled Red Shoes out and the heels started double–teaming Wato. YOH ran in to help, but then Togo and Yujiro canceled him out. Toru Yano tried to help, but he got beaten down, too. DOUKI got a near-fall after the Dick Togo chop-to-the-groin spot. (I won’t call it what it’s called, because I wouldn’t want people finding this page on a search engine and being disappointed that it’s not what they’re looking for.) Wato locked in the submission again, but then Don Fale used Matsumoto as a weapon to knock out Red Shoes and threatened to hit the grenade, but Aaron Wolf ran out to foil him, and Hontai dragged the House to the back. DOUKI attacked with his pipe, but Wato countered with Recientemente. Wato then considered using the pipe but decided not to, and hit a kick and then the sling blade instead. Marty Asami took over as ref and Wato got a few near falls, but then Asami got bumped during another Recientemente attempt. DOUKI got SHO’s cookie sheet out from under the ring and attempted Daybreak onto it, but Wato caught it, only to be fouled by the returning SHO and given an implant DDT onto the cookie sheet, after which DOUKI hit suplex de la luna for the win.

Tanahashi presented DOUKI the belt, and DOUKI made him put it around his waist. Tana, as one might imagine, was not thrilled about this. DOUKI taunted Wato and Tanahashi during his post-match promo, then YOH came back out wearing an EVIL shirt, hit both DOUKI and SHO with Everything Is EVIL and made a title challenge. It’s truly bizarre that they would bring up both Hiromu and EVIL in these segments. This was… a whole thing. It wasn’t terrible, as both guys are really good, but after seeing the House go over in big matches three days in a row, I think I need a break from it. 

Anyway, Umino beating Owens on Sunday in Amagasaki ain’t the payoff I’m looking for, but it’s the one I’m going to get, at least in the short term. Also, Sunday’s show features my most anticipated match of the first round, Ryohei Oiwa vs. Yuto-Ice, which should be a real fun, hard-hitting bout.