Hey all – yes, I’m still here, and yes, I fully intended to cover everything as it happened, but my availability to recap NJPW shows got hit with the double whammy of a) getting a bunch of freelance work at once, and b) preparing to open an independent bookstore in my hometown with my wife. We had a crazy sprint over the last month to be open by this weekend, which is the town’s annual harvest festival, but we did it – Wednesday was the “soft launch,” and the grand opening is on October 3. Since I’m going to be working in the store more often than not, I may not be able to cover things as thoroughly as when I was unemployed, but I still want to try, so to that end, here’s a look at the major matches that took place on the Battle Line Hokkaido shows.

September 19 – Muroran Rumble

Since they started this extended Hokkaido run a few years ago, NJPW has done a rambo at one of the shows, although in previous years it was in Noboribetsu. Both of the previous rambos were won by Shota Umino.

There’s no English commentary on this show, for what it’s worth. Umino starts with Shun Skywalker, whose entrance mask is profoundly disturbing. They barely lock up before Dick Togo enters to a theme (presumably “Insane in the Brain”) that’s replaced by a generic but fun hip-hop beat. The House double-teams Umino for a minute until Jado hobbles to the ring to even the odds. Boltin Oleg is next, and he beats on Togo for a while. HENARE joins next, and he goes right after Boltin. Masatora Yasuda enters next and goes after HENARE. SHO joins and quickly hits Jado low, which allows Togo to pin him with a sunset flip for the match’s first elimination. DOUKI enters next, but soon after, Yasuda puts Togo in figure-four sleeper and Boltin applies a Boston Crab at the same time to get the tap, despite SHO and DOUKI’s best efforts to save their faction-mate. El Desperado is next, and he goes right after DOUKI and SHO. Jakob Austin Young enters and goes after Desperado, but his attempt to eliminate Desperado is thwarted by Boltin. HENARE jumps in, and he and Boltin eventually eliminate each other. Master Wato joins and immediately teams with Desperado to pin SHO. DOUKI gets tossed by Young in a slightly mistimed spot that looked like it nearly resulted in a pretty severe knee injury for DOUKI. Shortly thereafter, Young also eliminates Desperado with an assist from the already-eliminated SHO and DOUKI, setting up their match against Desperado and Mistico on September 22. Great-O-Khan is next and takes his sweet time getting to the ring before pulling up a seat at ringside. Jake Lee is the final entrant, and he immediately gets caught in Vendeval by Wato, but Young pushes Wato down into a pinning predicament and gets the three count. Shortly thereafter, Young gets pinned by Umino after a lariat. Umino almost tosses Lee, which causes Great-O-Khan to spring into action, but heel miscommunication allows Umino to toss Lee. Great-O-Khan and Umino go back and forth until Umino eliminates Great-O-Khan with a lariat for the apparent win. However, Skywalker is hiding outside the ring and sneaks up from behind to toss Umino and win the match. This was a decently fun rumble with an awful, thoroughly unimaginative finish.

September 19 – IWGP Tag Team Championship No. 1 Contender Match: Most Violent Players (Toru Yano & Togi Makabe) vs. Knockout Brothers (Yuto-Ice & OSKAR) [Unbound Co.]

The MVPs get a taiko entrance and are accompanied by Tomoaki Honma, who was Makabe’s regular partner before Honma’s recent career-ending physical setback. Yano has dyed his hair and is not given his comically extensive ring announcement, even though it’d actually be relevant here, since one of his titles is the sightseeing ambassador for Noboribetsu. The MVPs are announced as representing GBH, which is noteworthy because the faction, such as it was – by the end it was only Makabe and Honma – was folded into Hontai and retired last year.

The KOBs are heeling it up a bit here, as you’d expect against the nostalgia act. The match starts with a wild crowd brawl, the highlight of which is OSKAR hitting Yano with the guard rail, by which I mean, OSKAR picks up the entire guard rail and hits Yano with it. After a brief in-ring segment, they head back outside and Yano gets busted open with a kick by Yuto. This activates Yano, who snaps on Yuto in the ring, tosses him outside and opens him up with scissors at the announce table. (This produces the instantly meme-able image of Tomohiro Ishii, who is ostensibly on commentary, just sitting there with his arms crossed and looking straight ahead while this insanity is happening right next to him.) Back in the ring, the MVPs work over Yuto for a long time but can’t put him away. Eventually, Yuto gets the hot tag to OSKAR, and he takes over on Yano, who continues to bleed profusely. OSKAR locks in the Nightmare Sleeper, but Yano shoves the ref and kicks OSKAR low to escape and get the hot tag to Makabe, who gets two with a King Kong Lariat and then hits a double-team move with Yano for another near-fall. Yuto tags back in and slugs it out with Makabe, eventually getting the upper hand with a kick for two. The KOBs hit The Rumbling for two and try for the KOB, but Yano throws OSKAR out of the ring and Makabe hits another King Kong Lariat for two. Yuto gets rid of Yano and hits Makabe with Ambition and Ice High, but Honma pulls ref Marty Asami out of the ring before he can count three. With Asami out, Honma enters the ring and trades strikes with Yuto before knocking him down with a headbutt and hitting him with a double lariat with Makabe. Makabe hits the Spider German but misses the King Kong Knee Drop. Yuto hits Makabe with Cruella and he and OSKAR set up for the KOB, but Takashi Iizuka’s music hits and Iizuka – another former GBH member – enters through the crowd, going all the way around the arena to do so and bumping Asami in the process. Iizuka tries to hit Yuto with the Iron Fingers From Hell; Yuto dodges the strike but gets caught in the sleeper, but is saved by OSKAR applying the Nightmare Sleeper to Iizuka. OSKAR takes the Iron Fingers and threatens to put them on, but Yano cuts him off. Iizuka hits Yuto with Mongolian Chops (a nod to Hiroyoshi Tenzan, whose retirement Iizuka crashed last month), Makabe hits the chain lariat, Yano hits a power bomb and Makabe hits the King Kong Knee Drop for two. Yano takes Asami while Honma and Iizuka try to take out OSKAR, but OSKAR says, “Enough,” double goozles them and runs them into each other and hits Yano with the Berlin Fall. OSKAR applies the Nightmare Sleeper to Honma, but Honma runs him into the corner pad and then hits him with a launching headbutt, which is the closest thing to a bump that he’s taken through all this. Makabe gets the best of a strike exchange with Yuto and hits a series of King Kong Lariats, but Yuto kicks out at one. Makabe hits the King Kong Hammer for two, but Yuto ducks another King Kong Lariat and tosses him into OSKAR to set up the KOB, which gets the pinfall at the 33 minute mark. Afterwards, Yuto cuts a promo that I cannot find a translation of for the life of me, but part of it seemed to be him telling Yano that he should cut the comedy stuff and go back to this style full time.

This was a hell of a thing. Makabe and especially Yano tried super, super hard, and Yuto and OSKAR did everything they could to make them look like a million bucks. Now, there’s only so much you can do with Makabe, whose mobility has noticeably decreased in recent years (and who was never the most enthusiastic bumper), but he gave it everything he had. Also, Yano needs to school these youngsters on the finer points of gigging, because he managed to bleed from almost the beginning of the match to the end, while the blood on Yuto’s face was almost completely dry by the end; methinks some more aspirin might be the prescription for Mr. Ice. Anyway, with the win, Yuto and OSKAR will challenge HENARE and Great-O-Khan for the IWGP Tag Team Championship at Korakuen Hall on October 6.

September 23 – IWGP Junior Tag Team Team Championship: El Desperado & Mistico (c) vs. DOUKI & SHO [House of Torture]

This was originally supposed to be an eliminator match, but the House annoyed Desperado and Mistico enough during this Hokkaido run that they agreed to change it to a title match.

English commentary has returned, as Walker Stewart is joined by Jakob Austin Young. SHO cuts his usual pre-match promo. Mistico’s hold music is back; I’m tempted to try to find it and use it as the hold music for the store. I managed to find the production music they’ve been using for Chono’s replacement theme that has an utterly brilliant guitar part that kind of broke my brain, but I haven’t given it a shot for Mistico’s theme yet.

This starts off quickly with the faces taking the advantage both in and out of the ring. After several minutes, however, the heels turn the tables, with Togo removing a turnbuckle pad and DOUKI running Desperado into the exposed buckle. Outside the ring, DOUKI throws Desperado into a seating section, and Desperado is nearly counted out. Back inside, the House works over Desperado for a while, but they can’t put him away before he makes the hot tag to Mistico, who takes out both guys with a really spectacular offensive sequence. Mistico gets the best of DOUKI, but a distraction by Togo causes Mistico to get caught in the Darkness Stretch; eventually, Mistico fights his way to the ropes for the break, though. The House goes for a complex double-team move, but Mistico fights out and gets the hot tag to Desperado, who goes back and forth with SHO and eventually hits him with Pinche Loco; however, DOUKI pulls ref Kenta Sato out of the ring before he can count three. All three House members attack the faces, and eventually, SHO and DOUKI go for their wacky double-team move but get cut off again, and Desperado and Mistico take over. Mistico hits a terrific top-rope Spanish Fly on DOUKI, and Desperado hits a reverse Tiger Driver on SHO, but SHO counters a Pinche Loco attempt into the Uwajima Pimps for two. Desperado dodges a charge into the corner by SHO and applies Numero Dos, while Mistico hits DOUKI with La Mistica into an armbar to tie him up; SHO eventually taps, and the champions retain.

This was very good despite the House nonsense, and I think it was also the closest to completely comfortable with the NJPW style that I’ve seen Mistico be. As usual, Mistico takes forever to leave, and unfortunately for those watching at home, the sound guy has to crank the hell out of Mistico’s replacement theme to cover up “Me muero,” which is not an altogether pleasant experience, but oh well.

September 23 – IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: YOH vs. Taiji Ishimori [Unbound Co.]

This was set up by Ishimori pinning YOH in a tag match at the G1 final. The pre-match video package is scored to “Amazing Grace,” for some reason. The implication seems to be that this may be Ishimori’s last chance at the title.

Apparently President Hiroshi Tanahashi is not at the show, so the Chairman of the Board, Naoki Sugabayashi, reads the championship proclamation instead. They go back and forth to start, and eventually Ishimori gets the advantage by going after YOH’s neck and shoulder. YOH eventually even the odds with a plancha, but soon after, he misses a charge into a corner whose pad Ishimori had removed earlier. Ishimori hits a shoulder breaker, but YOH responds with a Falcon Arrow. Ishimori hits CIPHER Utaki, then signals for the 450, but the two fight in the corner for a while, and YOH ends up hitting a superplex for two. YOH attempts Direct Drive, but Ishimori drives him into the exposed buckle to break it up. YOH gets two with the Gedo Clutch, but Ishimori counters with La Mistica into the Bone Lock, but as Ishimori tries to roll him into the center of the ring, YOH counters with the Anaconda Vise. Ishimori counters with a pinfall attempt, then reapplies the Bone Lock, but YOH counters that with a pinfall attempt, and then, as the two reach the standing position, Ishimori hits the Blade Runner, which is a new wrinkle for him. Ishimori goes back to the Bone Lock, then transitions to Drop the Needle for two. As Ishimori tries to follow up, YOH hits a lariat, which leads to a double-down. Ishimori hits Divorce Court, then kicks YOH low while Red Shoes’ back is turned and again applies the Gedo Clutch for a near-fall. Ishimori misses a charge into the exposed buckle and eats a superkick. After a series of reversals and counters, YOH hits La Mistica followed by Direct Drive for the win. After the match, YOH is challenged by Ishimori’s partner, Robbie X, and that match has subsequently been scheduled for Korakuen Hall on October 7.

This was a good match that didn’t get to the next level. I like both guys as wrestlers, but it just didn’t quite have the juice that junior title matches often do.

Anyway, next up is Destruction in Kobe on Sunday. I believe I will be able to cover this one in a timely fashion, and I’m really looking forward to it. See you then!